What to Feel, How to Feel
by EarlTrancylikesYaoi
Summary: AU. Spock is the 17 year old prince of Vulcan. T'Pring has been his fiancee since they were 13. His mother is given a slave who has been brutally abused physically and sexually, and gradually Spock falls in love with his servant, James Kirk, through the summer. slash and yaoi. m/m, turn away if thats not your thing. youve been warned.
1. Chapter 1

The prince of Vulcan draped his red cloak around his shoulders. He breathed out into the crisp air of his father's throne room. Light shone through the mosaic tiles on the windows, coloring the furniture. He stood regally in perfect posture, a good amount of distance away from his father and mother's throne. He was thirteen, and it was customary for him to be here.

His future wife was arriving today. It was agreed that she would live with the S'chn T'gai family until she was eighteen, when it would be proper for her and the young prince to marry. The young prince held no qualms or disagreements with this arrangement- why should he? He was young, and half Vulcan. He could not feel love, so why regret an arranged marriage? _In addition_, he told himself logically, _she has no objections. She is full Vulcan._

The time they would be arriving was within five minutes. They would not be late.

And they weren't. At the appointed time, a lavishly dressed and pampered T'Pring entered the throne room. She was welcomed by Spock's father, and Spock, at the proper time, held up a hand and said, "Live long and prosper." He bowed to her, and the tanned Vulcan nodded a head, exchanging her greetings.

Spock thought his choice for a future bride to be quite logical. She was beautiful in a childish way, and he could find no objection to her. He hoped she would be a favorably logical Vulcan, as he would only receive summers apart from her.

Over the years, the two did become close. Spock and T'Pring never felt exceptionally attracted to one another, only seeing each other as close friends. But T'Pring didn't notice this factor, being full Vulcan.

But Spock's half human side screamed his attitude. He wanted T'Pring as a friend, but he was uncertain as to why. Vulcan's didn't feel controversies such as this.

**FOUR YEARS LATER.**

"Mother, I wish to speak to you." Spock called out to his mother, regally sitting on her gorgeous albeit smaller throne.

She laughed lightly.

"Of course, my son." His father Sarek was not present in the room until this moment. He carried himself in, settling into his chair.

"Prince Spock—" his father began properly.

But he ceased talking as a loud knock on the throne rooms door stalled his talking.

Sarek was not cruel, and chose momentarily to ignore the rudeness of this gesture.

"Proceed to come in." He called to the footmen waiting at the door. They dragged the doors open, revealing an armored soldier and a high- class man, Spock could tell from his apparel. Behind them was a boy that Spock had not yet noticed.

"King Sarek, how delightful to see you." The man called. He removed his hat, revealing his smooth hair.

"Lord Pike." Sarek called, forming his hands in the proper greeting. Pike mimicked the greeting, though he was human.

"To what do we owe this visit?" Amanda, Spock's mother, called out eloquently.

Pike flashed a charming smile.

"My dear Queen, I have a gift for you. This slave boy—" he motioned for the armored soldier to push him forward, which he did, knocking the shackled boy to his knees.

"—is highly trained, with years of experience." Spock tried to remain composed. Highly trained, indeed.

The boy had bruise marks and cuts, slashes and burns all over him. Some marks were permanent, and could not be fixed. Of that Spock was sure. He hadn't seen the boy's face yet, as he stared at the ground. But he felt so sad to see this boy, his noticeable trials.

"I offer him as a truce to you, King and Queen. For the incident I so humbly regret."

Indeed. The incident of the ball, in which Pike had become inebriated and ruined an ice statue of the Queen. She had told everyone it was unnecessary and terribly conceited to have around, but she was angry when he destroyed it.

Amanda was speechless.

"T-take off those shackles now!" She ordered. The soldier looked disagreeable at this, but he complied as she was Queen.

"What have you done to this poor child?" She asked, her voice wrapped in fear and concern.

Pike gasped.

"Your majesty! I have done none of this. The boy has been a slave since he was a child, and I only assumed he could live here much more happily than before. It hasn't hurt anyone to have more slaves, am I correct?" He smiled smugly.

Amanda rose from her throne, gracefully settling onto the floor next to the boy. She tilted his head up, he seemed almost afraid to look up, but when she saw the untamable fire and determination in his eyes, she was nearly shocked.

"My poor boy…" she whispered. She looked angrily up at Lord Pike.

"You! I will take in this boy. He is to be a servant, not a slave. Not a hand will be laid upon him. As for you…" she stood up at Pike.

"You don't deserve my patience. Out!" She shoved him towards the door. He dejectedly scrambled back through the thrones doors, his soldier quickly following him.

_Those eyes. _Spock thought. He was broken from his thought process by his father's footsteps as he neared Amanda. She was very emotional at this point, tears brimming her eyes. No, we couldn't have an emotionally compromised human running around the castle.

"Spock, Amanda needs some time to calm down. Take this boy to his quarters—"

"He stays in your hallway for now, Spock." She called out from under her husband's protecting arms. "Please." She said gently to her husband.

Spock wondered who had the authority in this relationship sometimes. Sarek gave his consent.

"My son, you are trained in healing abilities. Please use them on this boy until Amanda can bring herself and a nurse to finish the job."

Spock wasn't a fool, he could see his father took pity on the boy as well. Spock agreed and held his hand out to the boy on the floor.

But the boy defiantly stood on his own, although he was strained to do so. Spock was shocked at this, but said nothing. He merely walked toward the exit, motioning for the boy to follow him. Luckily he did.

Walking down the lavish hallways of the palace, Spock knew this silence was improper and uncomfortable.

" I am Prince Spock." He said nobly. "What is your name?" He asked. Spock decided to room the boy in the quarters to the right of his room. He opened the door, still waiting for the boy to answer.

He guided him to the bathroom, seating him on the toilet. The boy's eyes were burning but he said nothing.

"You have learned to hold your tongue, boy. However this will not be necessary in my presence. Please, what is your name?" Spock said, trying not to sound desperate.

The boy turned his head away, looking towards the shower, and revealing a deep cut running down his jaw, almost touching his neck.

Spock took an antidote for cuts and various wounds and walked toward the boy.

"I am…" the boy didn't finish, he only squeezed his eyes shut and clamped his mouth closed as the antidote touched his cut.

"I am sorry, but this is for your health." He removed it moments later, satisfied at the expensive antidotes ability to heal.

"James Tiberius Kirk." The boy gasped. Spock stopped at that.

"What an odd name." Spock said, replacing the previous antidote with burn cream.

"Pardon me," Spock said. "But I request that you take off your shirt." The boy frowned but complied, slowly and painstakingly removing his shirt. Spock's eyes were trained on his muscular yet scarred chest, preparing the cream. That was, until he surveyed the boys back.

This time, Spock couldn't even hold his shock and sickness back.

The boys back was covered in lashes, long scars running down his back. Some were old, raised but closed skin with only an imprint of what had happened. But the newer ones made Spock sick and oh, so angry.

They were open and red, caked blood drying on the boy—James—back. Some blood was noticeably fresh, which made Spock question Lord Pike. But he was more focused on the pus oozing scars, so much so that barely a clean inch of back was visible. The skin was marred and irrevocably tortured. The yellow and sometimes green substances oozing from certain scars made Spock want to vomit.

"Oh, oh…" he whispered.

"Stop… stop it." The boy called out. It was such a controversial voice that came from him. On one hand, he was scared. He didn't adore being looked at like a pity case. It made him sick. On the other, he wanted to be taken care of.

Spock knew how the boy must have felt, and he went to work with his pain inducing ailments. By the time he was done, the scars were noticeably cleaner, with no pus or red lines. They were still fresh and the cleansing process had cause James much pain. The result made Spock almost happy.

It was at that time that Amanda and a nurse had entered. Amanda nearly screamed at the sight of the boys back. The nurse assured her that the wounds seemed thoroughly cleaned, and could undergo healing if watched properly. In his head, Spock vowed to make that happen. They took care of the other wounds, his legs, his feet, his face. Spock tried helping, but found he was only bothering them. He refused to leave, so he sat and watched.

"Spock, ahh… I'm glad you didn't leave yet." His mother called. "There's a scar running up his shorts, and it would be most improper for women to cleanse it." Spock nodded. His mother instructed him to follow through the gouge with an ailment that smelled of burning alcohol and mint, then a cream that felt cool and would help the slight ache afterwards.

The women left the bathroom and ultimately, James new bedroom.

As soon as they were gone, James looked up at Spock defiantly.

"I am not taking off my pants in front of you!" He spat. Spock sighed, knowing he had to follow up on his mother's orders. The boy stood up quickly, wanting to leave the restroom.

Spock quickly grabbed his wrist, not hurting the boy at all.

Grabbing the loops in James cloth shorts, he pulled him close.

"Hey!" James called out, his hips meeting Spock's. His face was burning red, a reaction Spock found odd but… attractive.

"I'm sorry, James." He said in a normal tone, slipping down James' pants. It seemed the boy was blushing everywhere, and being exposed in his white undergarments didn't help matters much.

He was pressed against the door so he couldn't escape, and Spock gently led the almost naked boy to the floor. He stretched his legs out in front of him, still blushing and crossing his arms over his bare chest.

Spock guided the alcohol throughout the gash, causing the boy to arch his back in pain, but again he did not cry out. He merely closed his eyes and shut his mouth fiercely. Spock ran the alcohol through the burn as many times as Amanda instructed, then finished it off with the cream.

Spock didn't understand why this was happening, but every time he touched the boy his senses reacted. He knew that Vulcans had peculiar sensitivity to touch, but it shouldn't be THIS awful and hard to bear. He finally shuddered when he streamed the cool cream through the gash. This entire time he had handled the circumstance well, but he finally caved in and shivered.

"Are you sick? Don't throw up on me." James called, viewing the Vulcan's slightly green face.

He didn't know that Vulcan blood was green, and that just as James was blushing, the green blood rushing to Spock's face colored him as well. But Spock didn't want to admit to blushing.

"I-I do feel quite odd." Spock said, turning away. His blush burned.

"I'll get my mother, so please put on your shorts now…" He waited patiently not looking as the boy pulled his shorts into place.

"Mother," Spock said, bounding into James new quarters.

Later, Spock's mother spoke to him.

"Spock, please try and make that boy comfortable. Be nice. I am not sure… what he's been through. So please, it would ease my conscience if he had a friend to depend on." Spock stared emotionlessly at his mother.

"Yes, if it pleases you, I will accompany James." Amanda blinked.

"James? He told you his name? We couldn't get a word out of him!" Spock recalled the other thing James had said, but did not wish to repeat them.

"James Tiberius Kirk, that is his name." He said lightly.

"What an interesting name." Amanda said excitedly. "I'm so happy he talked to you, oh, Sarek!" The woman floated happily to find her husband. Spock nearly sighed at his excitable mother.

With a knock, Spock entered James' new quarters. He found the boy staring through a window into the clear, starry night. He hadn't heard Spock enter, and continued star gazing.

Spock cleared his throat. "James?" At this the boy finally turned his head, but said nothing.

" My mother has asked me to make you feel comfortable." Spock sat across from James in the window canopy seat.

"I am, however, not entirely sure how to go about this." Spock said uncomfortably.

The boy was still looking at Spock until he looked down into his propped up knees.

"Why." The boy asked loudly. He wasn't shy.

"Be specific, boy." Spock said curiously.

"Why are you all… caring about me? It's stupid, I don't deserve it. I don't like it." He shook his head, dumbfounded. Spock was lost for words.

"You do deserve it, James. All the pain and slavery you went through, you deserve to be healed and cared for. My mother has an endless stream of sympathy for you and your situation." Kirk looked out the window again.

"She's not Vulcan." He stated plainly.

"No, she most certainly is not." Spock agreed.

"But you are?" he trailed off. He seemed to be wondering of this possibility. Spock shook his head.

"I am half- Vulcan. My father is a full Vulcan, my mother is a full human. Therefore, I have both traits. I try my hardest to remain completely Vulcan."

"Why? That's stupid. Be you." The boy said plainly. He still showed apprehension at his alleged owner, but he wanted to say his opinion.

"I find humans most illogical. Vulcan society is highly advanced and sophisticated, but humans are too often emotionally compromised for me to see a point in being human." James shook his head.

"That's… illogical." Spock was almost offended.

"You seem to be at a lack of knowledge for Vulcans and our culture."

"I know a lot about Vulcan's, green blood." Spock felt dizzy. Green blood? So he knew about the blush?

"Didn't think I knew about that did you, you lying cheat." James smiled into this, smugly looking at Spock.

"Still sick?" he asked casually, the smirk on his face never faltering.

"I—" Spock began. "Save it." Kirk said.

"Boy, I was only stating—" Once again James interrupted.

"I am not a boy! I'm probably your age."

"I am seventeen years old." Spock stated.

"… Sixteen…" James sighed.

"Fine then, James—"

"Spock?" He interrupted once again. It was annoying Spock.

"If you don't care, I hate the name James. Call me Jim." He was looking down as though he might blush again, but he only looked embarrassed. His blonde hair was natural, and the moonlight bathed him. He looked utterly adorable. And delectable. Spock's face turned the slightest of greens looking at this boy.

His eyes flashed to the clock, and he saw how late it was.

"It is time for you to sleep, Jim." Spock said. Kirk stood and walked to the bed. He noticed Spock hadn't even stood yet.

"You gonna tuck me in?" He asked, smiling.

Spock stammered and stood up, pacing towards the door.

"Goodnite, Jim." Spock said, retreating from the room quickly.

He fell back into the bed, surprised at its plush pillows and comforting blankets. He slipped into a shallow sleep as always. He feared deep sleep, that was when his nightmares occurred.

The next morning he was awoken by a maid, delivering breakfast, with Spock trailing behind her.

"Good morning!" The human maid called cheerily. She took his silver tray from the cart.

"Maid, I will prepare that when he's ready to eat. First I must take care of some of his wounds."

"Are you certain, Prince Spock?" the Maid answered. In truth it was a relief, but she had to ask anyways.

"Yes, please leave." She complied after a bow, and a wink at the sleepy Kirk. She made sure Spock didn't notice it. After a few awkward moments Jim sighed.

"Jim, you're going to have to get undressed again." Spock said quietly.

"No!" He cried embarrassedly. "Save me the humiliation, please." Spock considered it.

"You have medical knowledge and experience?" He asked. Again Jim sighed and shook his head.

"Then please don't make me undress you again…" Jim dejectedly stood up and removed his shirt. In all honesty, he didn't mind people seeing his body. They could stare at him and his scars all they wanted. But something about this Vulcan… he found him attractive. He didn't want to see that pity that flashed in peoples eyes.

But when he removed his shirt, the Vulcan didn't even blink. He neared Jim and his heart started racing. The antidote he applied to his back still heart, and he cringed back into Spock. He stayed leaning into Spock's arms until he spoke, and Kirk realized how close his mouth was to his ear.

He practically flung himself away from the Vulcan. He didn't realize how much he was enjoying the feeling of the Prince's fingers. The blush on his face was too much to bear, he was overly embarrassed and humiliated.

"Your pants, now." Spock said, pretending not to notice his overly obvious blush.

"Ppplleaaassee no!" Jim cried. He felt himself getting very slightly hard at Spock's hands brushing over his body, and he didn't know if he could bear him seeing that.

"I'll follow your exact instructions, just please don't!" He said desperately. Spock could understand this would mortify the boy, so he nodded and gave him instruction.

"Then you can eat, take a shower, and… I'll see what I can do."

Kirk nodded thankfully.

**TO BE CONTINUED, LOVELIES. REVIEWS VEERRRYYY MUCH APPREECIIATTEDD. AND SUGGESTIONS AND CRITICISM ARE WELCOME. IF YOU HATE SLASH, WHY DID YOU READ THIS FAR? **


	2. Chapter 2

**FYI, I know Vulcan is a desert planet. Screw it. **

The prince of Vulcan quietly ate his luncheon. Plomeek soup, with water and fruit. Additionally there were sides to complete his nutrition quota. His body was with his parents and T'Pring, but his mind was elsewhere completely. This factor didn't go unnoticed by his mother.

"Spock? A penny for your thoughts?" She said sweetly, blowing on her lunch. Spock was snapped out of his dreamland, his head coming upright to meet his mother's steady gaze.

Of course he'd been thinking of Jim.

"I was merely thinking, mother, of our new servant." Her eyes seemed to twinkle at this.

"New servant?" T'Pring said steadily, her eyes not leaving her food. Spock didn't want to answer, he'd say too much. That was a scary realization for a Vulcan.

"Oh, Lord Pike—that awful man—brought me a slave boy as a peace offering for the incident at the ball." She shook her head in disgust.

"It was awful, the boy seems fairly young, and he has slash marks and bruises and cuts everywhere. We can't even get him to speak, except…" she trailed off, wondering if that would be good information to share with Spock's future wife.

"He is sixteen, mother." Spock said plainly, sipping his soup properly, turning the spoon towards his mouth.

T'Pring looked over at Spock, but said nothing. She had put it together, only Spock could get him to talk. She didn't feel afflicted by this, though.

"Sixteen? Oh Spock, I find it amazing how you get him to talk." She chattered excitedly to her husband and her distant son.

Lunch was over, and Spock went to his quarters, preparing for his tutoring lesson. In Vulcan, knowledge was absolutely important. Knowledge was, to put it simply, power.

He exited his quarters after changing to go to the tutoring room, but then remembered that classes had been scheduled outside in the courtyard, since it was such a beautiful day. He reached the wide expanse of lush green grass, taking a moment to look as far as his trained eye could see. The rolling mountains far in the distance, the aching expanse of trees, the fresh smell of lilac from the garden, and the smell of crisp honey from a glistening nest. The sky was a crystal blue. Pale blue.

Those eyes.

Spock shook his head, walking from under the tree's shade to the back courtyard, where there was a wide, almost picnic-like table, its silver glistening. It had a silk canopy to protect one from the beating rays of the sun.

"Prince Spock." Came the gruff voice of his slightly educated tutor. He had several tutors, but he favored this man the most. He was honest and grumpy, old and tired. Often, he made fun of Spock, but he didn't mind. He rather liked it, this man's witless banter. He liked this tutor the most because he always seemed to learn something—not just something you should know, like formulas or vocabulary terms. Spock outsmarted this man, and most of his tutors, in that area.

But when this man taught him, he LEARNED. He learned the names of the inner workings of the body, the stories and tall tales behind each of the stars. It was simply fascinating.

His parents disliked this man, L. Horatio McCoy, but when they saw the value Spock placed on him, they decided it was for the best if he would stay.

"Leonard." Spock greeted him. He was trying to concentrate on the papers and folders Leonard was unpacking, but his attention was averted to a large, walking package. Until the walking package got closer did Spock see what the figure truly was.

A man's muscular arms were wrapped around large package that towered over his head slightly, making him unable to see clearly. His legs were in loose- fitting white pants, and he steadily walked toward the kitchen, which was in the back courtyard.

When the boy walked past, Spock saw that it was James Kirk.

"Jim?" Spock said, alarmed, He was worried about him working so soon in his physical condition.

"Prince Spock." He tried to nod, but just scraped his cheek against the package.

"What are you doing working so soon? Did someone order you to?" he demanded.

"No, but I know it's my place to be doing work, not being your little charity case. I'm perfectly fine, thank you." Spock could hear in his voice his struggle to be polite in front of the prince, and his blatant rebellion.

"No, I don't think it's a swell idea for you to—" at that moment, Kirk took an awkward step, feeling for his footing in front of him, but faltering. His balance started wavering, and he fell backwards, the package falling from his hands.

Spock stood, quickly walking over to the fallen boy. He hadn't cried out, although he had fallen directly onto his back. He closed his eyes, and shut his mouth.

_Strange_, Spock thought. _He always does that when inflicted with pain._

"James?" the prince said. He could hear Leonard McCoy's laughter in the background.

The boy merely stood up, burning holes into Leonard's smiling face. "I'm fine." He shrugged.

"Leonard, it is improper to laugh. Your social status is much higher—" at that, the man raised an eyebrow.

"Prince, me and that boy both have the same thing. NOTHING. All I got left, is my bones." The slave boy smirked at that.

"That's truth if I ever heard it." He said. Leonard smiled brightly, turning his full attention to the new slave boy.

"I ain't never seen you around, kid." The man was much older than the two, running in his late thirties.

"I'm new, but you better hope not to see me." They laughed lightly at this, and the boy picked up his package, preparing to enter the kitchen through the servant's entrance.

"Goodbye, Prince Spock. Later, Bones." And like that, the tutor became known as Bones, if only to Jim Kirk.

The hallways were lit with candles, and the moonlight streamed through the picturesque windows. Spock was walking toward his quarters, prepared for his rest, when he saw James leaving his quarters.

"James? It's late. Where are you going?" Spock said, nearing the younger teen. He shook his head.

"I don't feel right in such nice quarters. Plus, the shower isn't working, so I was gonna go sleep in the servant's area and shower there." He pulled a bruised hand behind his head, nonchalantly rubbing through his blonde hair.

Spock would have pouted, if he were five. And human.

"Jim, I find it necessary for you to stay near me so that I can heal your wounds. As for a shower…" he looked over at his bedroom's large doors. "You may use mine." The servant shook his head wearily.

"Will that be alright? I mean, will it be okay?" He said nervously. This was all so confusing.

He SHOULD be sleeping in the barn. He SHOULD have someone tearing apart his skin. So why was everyone being so comforting, and making him feel so… welcome? Loved?

Spock cracked the tiniest almost smile the human had ever seen. "Of course it will be okay." He said, nodding his head and reaching for the brass handles of his door.

Kirk nodded, making sure Spock entered the room first, making sure he stayed a good distance away from someone so… beautiful.

The boy got undressed when the doors to the shower were closed. He removed his loaned shirt, the loose pants, and his under garments. He was glad Spock couldn't see him, because his naked body wasn't just covered in scars and burns, but he was… simply put, disgusting. He was nothing. And Spock, he was… everything. He turned on the hot water, letting it run over his hands until he adjusted the cold water to make it warm. He stepped in, his leg first, then he eased his body in. He sighed as the water ran soothingly over him. He blushed at the thought that the beautiful, exotic prince was right there, only a door away.

Slowly, Kirk kept turning the cold water down, steaming his body. Finally he was done and he turned all the water off, sitting in the corner of the tub, the steam clouding his thinking. He slipped into deep sleep, the thing he feared most.

Spock could hear the water running, and it urged his need to use the toiletries. He waited until the water had been off for a good thirty minutes, figuring Kirk had to be clothed by now.

He knocked on his own bathroom door, calling out to the boy. "James? May I come in?" He waited, but there was no response. "Jim?"

Eventually he opened the door, surprised that no one was there. The curtains were closed, but since Kirk couldn't be found, Spock hurriedly opened them. He gasped at the sight before him.

The nude boy, his head slumped down onto his chest. He had fallen asleep. His hair fell into his closed eyes, small beads of water sometimes dripping onto his chest. Spock's eyes followed the water, tracing down his muscular and tan chest. His toned arms were lazily wrapped around his stomach. His legs parted slightly, deliciously. His inner thigh was pink, probably from the immense heat of the shower. Spock blushed at surveying his unmentionable parts, but that was, at the moment, irrelevant. Any other time, that would be the key thing to stare at. But in this moment, Spock concentrated on the way the poor boy's eyebrows shot up, creased in worry. His full, pink lips were parted slightly, whimpering incoherent words. His grip around his stomach was shaking. It wasn't until then that Spock noticed his entire body was shaking in fear. His whimpers grew louder, until finally he screamed, his eyes shooting open.

Spock's hand shot out to the boys face, stroking it gently. "Shhh… You are alright, James." He whispered. The boy was still shivering, but this didn't stop the blood from rushing to his face madly. He made no comment on it, though.

"Would you like to speak with me about the details of your nightmare?" Spock said, gently brushing the salty water from the boys pale face. He was aware of the immense heat he felt from stroking the boy, his hands erogenous zone flaming. The green blush on his face was apparent.

He shook his head violently.

"I-It's f-freezing!" he chattered. Spock had momentarily forgotten how the body temperature in humans and Vulcan differed. Vulcan's temperature ran slightly higher, so to Spock it had only seemed chilly. He stood up from the tub's rim and closed the opened window. He removed his shirt, revealing his pale skin to James.

"W-what are you d-doing?" Kirk said, his eyes scraping over the PRINCE'S bare skin. This wasn't right, he was a servant. His eyes didn't deserve such irrevocable beauty.

Spock climbed into the admittedly glamorously large tub.

"N-no." Kirk whispered. Spock pressed his pale, slim chest to Kirk's muscular, sun-tanned chest. He wrapped his arm around Jim.

"I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable, but my Vulcan temperature's can warm you quickly."

Kirk didn't feel uncomfortable. He felt warm and loved and safe and perfect. He sighed and leaned over, pressing his body to Spock's more. Spock's face fit into Jim's shoulder perfectly, and he felt his resolve slipping.

Jim didn't have the energy to be fully aware of his lower body parts, and he slipped into a shallow, comfortable sleep. It was the hours later when Spock was still awake, holding a sleeping Kirk, that he stared incessantly at the boy's face.

In particular, his full-pink-luscious-creamy-delicious-beautiful lips.

Spock's mind slipped to T'Pring and the love he knew he could never feel for her. Somehow, he felt it here. With this sleeping, beautiful boy.

Kirk, somewhere in the shallow sleep, had awoken. He was physically worn out though, and he didn't open his eyes. He was fully aware of Spock's presence, his arm slipped around Jim's waist. He wondered if Spock was awake, but he was afraid to check.

Spock stared at the boys many bruises and marks, deep purple lines and red impressions. He felt so heart-broken. Someone as beautiful and loving as this boy… he didn't deserve this. His fear for the boy manifested an ache of love in his heart, he was drowning in feeling for this boy. He couldn't control it.

His Vulcan side was nowhere to be found.

So he reached up to the sleeping boy's lips, and veryveryvery gently and lightly, pressed his lips to James.

And still Kirk's blue eyes popped open in shock. His long eyelashes fluttered quickly before staring at Spock.

"What was that!" He cried, his voice wavering.

How amazing. How crazy. How wonderful. How wrong.

"I- I don't know." The Vulcan boy admitted. He was blushing a dark shade of green, shocked at James' awareness.

"No, Spock. You and me, it would never work." Kirk said, squirming out of Spock's arms. He stood from the tub, quickly grabbing his clothing. Spock merely sat up.

"You, you're… you're perfect! I can't even begin to compare! I don't deserve to lick dust of your muddy boot. I don't… I don't deserve any of this!" He was ranting in frenzy, finding it a struggle in his heated state to button his shirt. Spock stood out of the tub.

"I am a Vulcan, I cannot feel. But you, James, you force me to feel. I cannot begin to understand what's happening. And Jim, you deserve our care. What you didn't deserve was everything in your past. But now that that's over, keep an optimistic look for the future." He held a hand out to the quaking boy, but he merely backed away.

"No, let's stay away from each other, Prince!" James ran away with a half buttoned shirt, in a frenzy to the servant's quarters.

The next month nearing the summer was unbearable, especially the day Kirk became acquainted with T'Pring. He learned she was Spock's fiancée, and he felt oh so slightly sick at himself.

But more than that, this distance was tearing them both apart.

Every night the prince dreamed of that beautiful boy, his naked body bathed in moonlight as it once had been. He woke up shivering, hating the… affection he felt for him.

Kirk would dream of those warm lips, that warm arm draped across him, being held by the beautiful prince.

But he knew the distance that needed to be created.


	3. Chapter 3

"Goodbye, Prince Spock. Live long and prosper." T'Pring gestured with her hand and bowed. Her tan face showed no emotion.

"Until the spring." She called, adjusting her beautiful and traditional Vulcan garb.

"You will be eighteen the next time we see your lovely face, T'Pring." Amanda said with a warm smile.

"Then you and my son shall marry. We have had it planned so for many years. I hope everything goes according to your wishes." Sarek offered. T'Pring nodded.

She was happy to see her family, but upset at how faraway Spock seemed. Usually he graced her with a formal Vulcan kiss, or something of that nature. But he had only told her to " live long, and prosper," and then the hazy, dream-like look had graced his noble features once more.

She turned to Spock.

"May I speak with you, Spock? Alone?" Spock was pulled out of his thoughts by her voice.

"Of course." He said, following her into the hallway.

"May I speak plainly, Spock?" He no longer had the worried expression from before.

"Of course, T'Pring." He nodded for her to continue. "Spock, I have noticed that you seem different… from before." She said evasively.

"You asked for my permission to speak plainly, T'Pring. Use your priviledge." His voice was emotionless and monotone.

"Spock, I am afraid you have fallen for another." She said unsurely. Spock's eyes grew ever so slightly wider.

"T'Pring, I assure you… this is untrue." She merely shook her head.

"Spock, I… only wish the best for us. I am a Vulcan, and it is easy for me to see your slight emotion. I also… only feel as though you are my brother, Spock…" she spoke in a mere whisper.

Spock now saw the truth.

"T'Pring, you love another." He stated plainly. He wasn't hurt, he didn't love her.

"Yes, his name is Stonn. He is full Vulcan." She stated almost proudly, yet shyly.

"I see no harm in this… however, we are entitled to marry." Again, he was emotionless. He started walking away, into the throne room.

"Spock! His name is James Kirk!" She yelled. He froze in his spot instantly. He heard her gentle footsteps coming towards him from behind. Her hand was placed upon his silk cape atop his shoulder.

"You love him." There was no question in her voice, she simply knew.

He said nothing. He was frozen.

"Spock, I have only one thing I know to be true. Vulcans can feel. We can. We can hide emotion as much as we want, but we can NEVER destroy it." There was a certain truth in her voice that made Spock uneasy.

"You love him." She said again, removing her hand from his shoulder. "Answer me." She spoke with authority.

"Yes." Spock whispered. It was a shy, remorseful whisper. He did not want to answer her.

She ordered it; Vulcans cannot lie. "See?" she uttered gracefully. "We can feel." And with that she opened the door to the throne room.

Spock shuddered in his spot, but he kept tears from falling from his eyes.

In the shadows of another hallway, Kirk's breath was staggering. He was leaning against a wall, his eyes squeezed shut. He had been on his way to deliver a parcel to Leonard McCoy, when he had seen T'Pring and Spock. He couldn't bear to be in the presence of both of them… together.

And he had heard every word.

Prince Schn'Tgai Spock, in love with his servant. Kirk shuddered. He allowed himself a peek once more, and Spock was still standing in that spot. He seemed to be frozen there.

Spock's highly trained Vulcan ears could hear James' every breath. He was a fool; didn't he realize how close he actually was to Spock? One corner wouldn't stop such magnificent ears.

But he didn't call out to the boy. And eventually, he took off running down the hallway. Spock eventually rejoined the farewell party in the throne room.

He watched the carriage as it pulled down the brick road.

One summer away from T'Pring.

It was a beautiful, scorching day. It was only a week into the summer, yet temperatures were already heating up. Spock was reading his study book in the shade of a tree in a field. Spock had ridden horseback to get this far out, and he felt as though everything was at peace.

Quietly he read, occasionally sipping from his canteen of water, or stroking his completely black mustang.

And then a thought struck the lovely prince.

He slammed his book shut, mounting his horse quickly. He rode swiftly all the way back to the castle, his heart racing. Please don't let this be true.

He paced quickly to his quarters, his cape flying behind him. Jogging to his dresser, he opened the top drawer of the oak wood.

He pulled out a lovely calendar, bordered with lilac flowers and golden designs. He skimmed for the month of July, glancing at certain dates. His eyes finally rested on one heavily stressed day. It was outlined in bold red, the black script painstakingly noticeable.

Pon farr, the night of his mother's birthday ball. Every last person invited would be sure to be there, was she not the Queen? So many opportunities for him to hurt someone! His emotions would be out of control.

Every seven years of a Vulcan's life, they undergo one day of pon farr. However, in the first three years of his life, Spock went by his complete human instincts, he went without the knowledge of being Vulcan. By the time he was three, his father had instilled a want to be emotionless. So, seven years later, at the age of ten, he underwent his first pon farr. He had almost killed… and he had been a child then! What could he do now?

Spock placed his calendar back into the drawer. He couldn't tell anyone of this, including his parents. Sarek would only suggest T'Pring come back to marry him early, so they could mate. But Spock didn't want that, and neither would she.

His mother would suggest horridly embarrassing things, as she had brought up when he was thirteen. He turned green when he remembered speaking to Amanda of such things.

But Spock didn't wish ill will of anyone.

"Spock?" His mother called. It was a crisp afternoon, sunny and bright. His mother had suggested he swim in their pool, but he planned to stay dry poolside. McCoy was selflessly going to chaperone.

"Yes, mother?" He had a soft towel draped over his pale shoulders, and a blue one piece bathing suit over his slim features.

"Don't forget sunscreen, and I'll send something out for you later." She was off before he could ask what, so he shook his head and forgot his troublesome mother for the time being.

Outside, the morning sun graced his pale skin dutifully. Leonard didn't care what the boy did, he used chaperoning as an excuse to cool off. It had been only half an hour when Spock heard McCoy speaking. He looked up from his book to see him in a conversation with James Kirk.

His feet were dangling inside the pool, and he crossed his ankles at the site of Jim.

"Haha! Don't splash me, I've got…" Kirk stopped talking when he noticed Spock staring at him. Bones turned around to see what he was staring at, and his eyes met the pale skin of the beautiful prince.

"Prince Spock, your mother has ordered me out here with you two." Kirk said dutifully. Spock said nothing for a moment, then closed his eyes.

"You may swim, then, Kirk." The boy shook his head, not wanting to spend time with the prince. But soon he felt a wave of water hit his clothing.

"Hey! Don't splash me you idiot!" He was laughing as Bones hurried out of the pool, chasing the boy around the enormous square of water.

"Bones! You—" he was cut off when he hit the water, the impact from Bones' push making him crack the water's surface.

He gasped, surfacing for air. The two erupted with laughter, and a small smile graced Spock's face. Kirk peeled his shirt off, throwing it onto the ground surrounding the pool.

Spock was touched by the site. His wounds were healing, and it made Spock feel so happy to see him becoming well again.

"Aye, prince, you gonna swim?" Bones said roughly, backstroking in the clear water.

"No, I don't believe I—" But once again the older man struck, pulling Spock by his feet into the crystal water. He came up coughing, but smiling.

James couldn't stop himself from laughing. Bones grabbed the beach ball he had brought, and the boys played endless games for hours in the water.

Finally it was getting dark, the moon illuminating the pool. They were playing a game Bones had created, Marco Polo. Well, he said he had created it. And neither of the boys knew better, so they believed him.

Kirk was "it," his eyes shut as he called around for his polo. Finally he hit Leonard, and the man was noticeably fatigued. He sat on the pools edge, and the other two mimicked the notion.

"It's been fun, boys. But I am so tired, I need to go rest. You two can stay, though." Throughout the day, he had felt an almost tangible attraction between the two, and their lingering eyes didn't help so much. He didn't know what had happened, but Leonard Horatio McCoy didn't want to get caught up in their gay love fest. He left the pool, eager for rest.

The boys sat in an awkward silence, their feet dangling in the water. They had enjoyed each other's company while Bones was there. Without him, they sat in silence. Spock felt peaceful, and he looked up into the sky. Kirk slipped back into the pool. When he heard a splash, Spock's eyes were averted from the sky.

"Jim?" He said sheepishly.

"Yeah?" He said slowly, zipping through the water.

"You are a fast swimmer." He stated.

"Faster than you." The boy said devilishly. Spock shook his head.

"If you are trying to test me, Jim, I assure you—"

"You can't catch me!" He interrupted boyishly. Spock sighed.

"James, whatever happens next is purely consequences for your actions." He slipped into the water, expertly swimming towards James.

He dived underwater, his arms in a perfect V.

He caught up much more quickly than Kirk had planned, and he was caught off guard. He was backed against the side of the pool, Spock's arms making a box around him. The boy took a deep, quick breath, and slipped under the water and around Spock's body. Spock was surprised at this quick getaway, and he whirled around, looking around until he spotted Jim's smooth body cutting through the surface. Instantly he dove under water, and Kirk was cught off guard, listening for anything. He only heard silence. He looked around, feeling excited and scared. Suddenly he felt hands wrapped around his ankles and he was pulled under water, Spock's hand pushing his stomach downwards. His hand shot out to Jim's face, and he pulled him in close. He wasn't going to kiss the boy, he remembered how he had hated it so the last time. But he didn't have to, because while the fear was evident on Jim's face, he chastely brought his mouth to Spock's while still under water. Spock was surprised and happy and his stomach might as well have ripped open and started pouring out happiness.

They surfaced and parted, Jim staring down into the water.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly, his apology resounding through the silence. Spock silently floated over to him, his arms wrapping around his beautiful servant.

But he was more than that. So, so much more.

Kirk wrapped his arms around Spock, and he looked up at him. The next kiss was a mutual agreement—Spock didn't kiss Kirk, Kirk didn't kiss Spock. They both started leaning towards each other at the same time, their cold lips meeting with one another's.

And suddenly the world was on fire. This kiss wasn't like the previous, chaste kisses they had shared. Jim opened his mouth the slightest bit and Spock's tongue slid into his mouth. The taste of each other drove them both insane. Their tongues were dancing, and Jim's hands worked their way around Spock's neck, twisting his hands into his hair. It was such a heated and fiery kiss neither remembered the world without each other. They parted for air, leaving both with the drive for more, more of each other.

"No matter what I just… can't stay away from you." James called, still panting for air. He seemed ashamed of this fact, his face heating up in a pink blush.

"That… is fine with me, James. I don't wish for you to stay away." He stared at the blushing boy, who was staring into the water. He seemed almost ashamed to look up.

"I just… you are far too great for me, Spock." Spock couldn't have disagreed more. He brought his hand to the younger teen's face, using one finger to pull his face up, forcing him to look into Spock's eyes.

"You are beautiful. You are everything I have ever wanted. You…" he said, leaning down.

"Are perfect." He gently brushed his lips across James', his hand never leaving his face. Jim trembled, melting like chocolate into Spock's lips.

"T'Pring." Jim shakily spoke her name, trying to warn Spock. Spock shut Kirk's eyelids one at a time with his free hand. He leaned down to the boy's ear to whisper.

"We both love someone else." Jim's eyelids stayed shut and he leaned his head back. Spock's lips traced from the boy's ear, down his jawline. He would have gone further, down to his neck, but they heard a noise from behind them. Quickly they separated, making it seem as though they had been playing normal games as Amanda came into view.

"You boys have been out here a long time! Spock, I'm so happy to see you have such a great friend. And James, thank you." She said warmly, smiling her charming smile.

"Now you two should start drying off now." She handed the dripping teenagers towels.

"Mother?" Spock called, drying his body off.

"Yes?" she looked back at her beautiful son.

"I do believe that James should not stay… in the servant's quarters. I ask that you permit him to stay next to my room once again."

Amanda felt so happy at that moment, at Spock's show of emotion. No matter how small. In truth, Amanda had always wanted him to show his emotions, to stop trying to hide himself. She understood why he did, but she always wanted him to just be himself. She was excited that he was finally realizing what it was like to feel.

"I wouldn't decline for the world! Of course he may." She looked over at the boy and was surprised to see him blushing bright pink.

"That… won't be necessary. I'm nowhere near good enough for—

"Nonsense! I want you to be completely comfortable, Spock has never had such a trustworthy friend."

She didn't want to mention that Spock had never had ANY friends.

"Now you two can head to your quarters I suppose. Dinner is soon, but Sarek and I are having dinner with the Duke Jean Luc Picard, and it is to be a private meeting. Will you boys mind horribly eating alone?" She knew they wouldn't. They'd probably prefer it.

They sat in their pajamas in Spock's room, trays of untouched food sitting on the desk.

"…Prince Spock? Aren't you hungry?" Jim said to the taller boy.

"Don't call me prince, James. And I am too tired to think of eating food." He reclined into the plush pillows, his eyes shutting. "If you are hungry, please eat." He said tiredly.

"No, I'm tired too." He yawned hugely, preparing to stand up. But Spock patted the bed beside him, wanting for the boy to sit with him.

"You can sleep here, if you are oh so tired, James."

He was glad Spock's eyes were closed, because at first he was surprised, and it showed on his face. But gradually he smiled warmly, his eyes squinting. He crawled to the spot next to Spock, and laid down.

"Jim." Kirk said his own name out loud.

"What?" Spock asked.

"Call me Jim." James smiled.

Kirk rolled onto his side, facing the prince, who laid on his back.

"Can I…?" Kirk started. "Yes?" Spock asked, curious as to what the boy wanted. "Can I… hold you?" He asked shyly. Spock smiled and nodded. Jim wrapped his arms around Spock, pressing their bodies together. He placed his face in Spock's chest. He loved to feel the rise and fall of his chest.

Spock wrapped his arm around Kirk, and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Spock was awoken by a loud knocking on his door. Breakfast was early today. He was going to tell the maid to come in when he remembered the sleeping boy next to him. He stood up quickly, picking the boy up bridal style. He rushed him into the bathroom, sitting the groggy boy on the floor.

"Spock?" He rubbed his eyes.

"Shhh. Stay here." He casually walked back into his room and admitted the maid into his room.

**OOH. SECRET LOVE. Reviews are reeallyy appreciated because, well, I love to hear what you guys have to say. Question time for those lovely people who are going to review. Should I write lemons or no? Thanks everyone. Its important3 Okay bye love you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just so you guys know, don't judge but I know nothing about horses… I DO NOT OWN THE SONG WHEN THE DAY MET THE NIGHT, PANIC! AT THE DISCO DOES. This is a little late but DISCLAIMER: ME NO OWN STAR TREK. You knew that right? You don't have to but I highly suggest you look up the lyrics or listen to the song. In my story though screw the happy summer parts, think of it as more of a slow ballad.**

"_When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky, all was golden when the day, met the night."_

"_Highly illogical. Inanimate objects cannot fall in love, and neither can Vulcans."_

"_Spock, I was singing a song. Just singing. I'll teach you the words!"_

"_No, I—"_

"_Spock! Come onnn!"_

"…_then he fell in love, and he didn't know how, but he couldn't get out."_

"_Good, Spock. Keep singing!"_

Spock awoke from his dream, startled. It had been a memory from the second year he had known T'Pring, and they were both fourteen. It hadn't struck him that she had always tried to stray from being Vulcan. But now that he knew, everything was lining up.

He dressed casually, content in knowing that today wasn't crowded with meetings or formal events. It was a warm feeling to know he would spend a glorious summer day with his new friends.

He walked out of his polished room, and walked into the hallway. His fingers were slipping from the door knob when he saw his beautiful Jim, carrying a box.

It was quite the picturesque moment for the Prince. A beautiful boy, wearing a white shirt with baggy sleeves and tan pants, the sunlight streaming into his eyes and through his golden hair, happily doing his chores with no qualms. It was as though Kirk was his personal Cinderella, and if he listened close, surel he would be humming.

"Good morning, Prince Spock." He said formally. But then he smiled, as though he was keeping a secret. And he was. If the devious smile didn't give that away, the gleaming tint in his eyes would.

"James Kirk." Spock said, equally as formal. He nodded but made no move to leave. The sunlight streaming through the windows hit Kirk in a way that amplified his utter beauty. They were staring at each other, no doubt transfixed by one another's beauty.

Amanda walked into the hall, and that finally broke their intense stare.

"Good morning, James." She smiled at the boy warmly.

"Your highness." He tried to bow, but the box prohibited it. Amanda laughed at his efforts. It was a pleasant sound for anyone who was lucky enough to hear it.

"Oh my, you are quite funny. You have considerably brightened my day already!" She turned to look at her son.

"Spock, come to breakfast now. Afterwards, I have an errand for the both of you to run." She started walking away after smiling at Jim one last time. Spock followed her, glancing back as the boy started walking steadily along again.

Once the nutritional morning meal was over, Spock asked for the permission to be excused. When he left, Sarek glanced over at his wife.

"Amanda, where is our son going in such a hurry?"

She sipped on her small glass of milk excitedly.

"To see his friends, my dear one."

She was right, of course. The two boys talked to Leonard McCoy shortly, then started walking away when Spock remembered his mother, and the errand she had wanted them to do.

"Alright, boys. If ever there was an errand in town, we would want you to do it, James. None of the other servants are as hard working, nor as capable as you. However, the town is around two miles away, a dreadful distance to walk constantly! So I thought Spock could teach you horseback, so when the time comes you are prepared to carry out your duty. Does that sound like fun?" Oops. She had tried to make it seem like this "errand" was strictly business, but blew away the small cover she had.

Kirk pulled his eyebrows together, his forehead creasing in determination. He nodded, mentally preparing himself to learn horseback. Amanda wanted to laugh at this boy, simply because he was so adorable. She was shocked to find her son staring at the boy with the same awe.

"Alright, boys! Get to it! We don't want the castle to run out of anything important!" She walked away, and the boys followed suit to the stables.

Spock sauntered to his horse gracefully, waiting for Jim to pick a horse. He didn't give him any hints because he wanted to see what type of horse called to Jim.

He felt pulled towards a chestnut colored horse with long, loose mane and polished hooves. Spock nodded his approval.

"That horse is an excellent decision. She is calm and experienced, perfect to train a new rider."

Jim loved the horses deep brown eyes.

"What's her name?" He asked, gently stroking her side.

"Her name is Riley, but she was named that when we received her. The name is not one a Vulcan would choose." He was saddling Riley as he said this, strapping on the reins.

"What's your horse named?" Spock clipped the reins in. "His name is Sabok."

"Alright, Jim, put your foot in this stirrup, and then swing your leg over the horses body. Ready? One, two, three."

The boy tried, but the horse was too large and he too short.

"Perhaps another horse? This one is fairly large, so—" he was cut off by Kirk.

"No! Just help me!" Spock counted to three, then pushed Kirk up by his hind parts. When he was seated, Spock got into the same position on his horse.

For the next half hour, the two went over the basics of horse riding, from turning, to slowing down and speeding up. Kirk caught on easily, unafraid and gradually becoming aquainted with his horse. Of course, he was no expert, but he easily surpassed other new riders.

They started riding in the direction of the town, the hot sun beating on their backs. Spock went at Kirk's pace, his patience never erring.

"Can we stop here?" Kirk asked, after a long period of riding.

Spock looked around, understanding why he wanted to stop. The field they were in was made of straw-like grass, and pink trees bloomed everywhere. The sky seemed so utterly blue, and the sunlight sparkled through a shallow stream.

He agreed at once, dismounting his horse.

The two sat on the ground, but gradually they laid down to look at the beautiful sky. They were an arms length away, their fingers brushing gently.

The clouds streaming above made Spock think about the song T'Pring had taught him not so long ago. He couldn't recall a time when his life had seemed more perfect, couldn't remember life without James Kirk. He was the sun, and had brought an eternal light to his night. His fingers formed ino a Vulcan kiss against Kirk's, and Kirk mimicked the motion.

He watched the streaming clouds against the sky, and everything felt perfect and undisturbed. He fogot everything until a warm pair of lips pressed against his cheek. He turned to look at Jim, their fingers never leaving each others.

"Jim?" He said questioningly. The younger boy smiled.

"I wanted to kiss you." Spock smiled tinily at that.

"Please don't hesitate to, then." He tilted his head up, and Jim leaned down. But before their lips met, Jim turned away, and rolled his body opposite from Spock's.

"Nope! Can't touch this, dundundundun—" Spock laughed lightly. Kirk was running away. What a fool.

With his back turned to Spock, he stood in the shallow streaming, dancing and singing.

Poor boy.

Spock ran to catch up with the boy, wrapping his arms in a vice-like grip around his waist. He hit the ground with a thud, instantly realizing the extra weight of Spock on his lower half.

"Hey! Lemme go!" He laughed.

Spock expertly sat up so the boy was still pinned down, but turned him onto his back. He resumed his position, laying his face on Kirk's stomach. Jim couldn't complain, so he folded his arms behind his head and stared happily into the sky. Since when did life seem so perfect?

"I love this." He breathed quietly.

"I love freedom, I love happiness, I love being with you." He said, everything coming out in a rush.

He started giggling at the tickling sensation. Spock was nudging his shirt up using his lips, and the touch of his lips tickled him.

" I love… you." Jim said, finishing his statement.

Spock pressed his lips to Jim's warm stomach, the toned muscles shuddering underneath the touch.

"I love you more than life itself, James." He brushed his lips across his stomach again, laughter coming from the boys lips.

"Haha! Stop tickling me!" The boys could've stayed forever in their secret field, this beautiful place. Every chaste kiss filled Kirk's stomach with happiness, and it overflowed through both of them. They ended up holding each other, their lips close whenever one felt like kissing the other.

But soon they left their secret getaway from the world and returned to the castle.

"Prince Spock, I was told to remind you that you are participating in a charity horse race later." A young scribe came up to them with a bow.

"Y-yes, of course."

"He totally forgot." Kirk whispered to the scribe. She giggled, then bowed, exiting the room.

Spock sighed.

"Apparently, I have to get ready for a race." Kirk laughed.

"Did you forget or something?" Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't forget something of importance. This is the first I've heard of it."

Jim chuckled. "If I could hug you right now, I would." He whispered. Instead, he stayed content imagining himself licking the older male's ears.

Spock glanced around.

"Just do it, no one is around." Kirk blushed, thinking Spock could read his mind and wanted him to lick his ears, until he figured out that Spock was talking about hugging.

He wrapped his arms around the taller boy, crashing his face into Spock's chest.

"I love you." He whispered, while Spock wrapped his arms around his James.

Leonard McCoy walked into the hallway, and stopped at the sight in front of him. He had been delivering a scroll to the queen when he ran into the lovely duo. He was going to cough or something to get their attention when Spock plainly said,

"I love you, too." And then he smiled. Smiled! McCoy had never seen a Vulcan smile so big.

"Ahem…" he said, stepping forward. The two instantly snapped away from each other, startled by McCoy. Kirk stared embarrassedly down at the floor, but Spock stared emotionlessly at the Doctor.

"Aww, c'mon. I won't tell nobody bout this." He shrugged. It was the truth, he liked seeing them happy.

Kirk's head snapped up.

"Really?" He said, relieved. Bones looked pointedly at the Prince.

"Sure, sure." He nodded at the grateful teens, walking away.

At the charity race, Spock sat tall on Sabok, looking handsome in a velvet red cape. It contrasted with his pale skin and made Kirk's head spin. His horse's black mane was braided and tied with a matching red bow. Sabok's hooves were polished, and both horse and rider looked exquisite. It wasn't much of a competition, though. The other riders looked meager and unimportant next to Spock. This would be an easy race. That was what Kirk thought, until another rider with very pale skin and eyebrows rode up, looking much less handsome but just as well prepared as Spock.

His chest had the number nine on it, and Jim checked the roster for his name. Data, an android male. The race began and Spock easily took the front, with only two noticeable competitors.

Data, number nine, and a brown haired boy, number eleven.

The race went on with no qualms, and Jim was glad to see no one trying any scandalous moves or cheating. Spock was safe, Spock was fast.

Of course Spock would win. The coliseum was filled with sophisticatedly dressed people, who had come to bet and make donations for the charity.

Spock felt adrenaline coursing through him.

He took the first lap, the second lap, and the third lap in first place.

The fourth lap belonged to number nine, but the last lap was now and Spock was catching up.

Nearing the finish line, it seemed that Spock would take the lead and win the race. But at the last moment, Sabok's speed caused him to trip over number nine's horse. His hoof bent back painfully, and the horse went tumbling to the ground, the prince still attached.

It seemed there was an audible silence that fell over the crowd in the next instant.

Spock landed on the hard ground, and his horse landed on top of him, thoroughly braking both of his legs and his right arm. There was a snap and incredible pain, but just as quickly as it had happened, it was over. The horse rolled over and whinnied at it's own pain, but Spock remained silent, falling inbetween conscious and unconscious.

"SPOCK!" He heard a familiar voice scream.

" Jim?" But he didn't like staying conscious, with so much searing physical pain ripping through his body at every breath, so he fell unconscious.

Spock.

Spock.

Spock.

Jim could think of nothing else. He was outside of the medical wing in the castle, pacing, and waiting for the results, the answers. The doctors had no doubt he would live, but all the same Jim wanted proof for himself.

He might seem like a love sick puppy waiting at his masters feet to any onlookers, but he didn't care, drowned in his worry for Spock, the only person he had ever loved.

He had no one to talk to, no one's shoulder to cry on. Leonard had medical experience, and quite a bit of it, so he was helping the doctors as well as he could.

Frequently Amanda stopped by, but her busy schedule kept her from staying long, ripping her away from her son.

It was barely past four in the morning when Spock opened his eyes.

The ceiling was unfamiliar—where was he? He recalled the accident.

He was happy to be in his home and not in the local hospital, where he could be comfortable.

"Spock? You're awake?" McCoy called out.

"Yes, Leonard. What time is it?" Spock asked. He was going to sit up when he felt an awful absence of movement in his lower body. He looked down to see both legs heavily casted, the left raised involuntarily into the air by a sling. His right arm was also casted.

He sighed in the realization that nothing could move properly but his left arm.

He was right handed.

McCoy chuckled, peeking his head out the door.

"Jim? You're STILL here? Well come in then." The absolutely tired boy stood up, forgetting his fatigue. He rushed into the room, wanting to laugh and cry and jump Spock.

"Jim." Spock said sweetly.

"Spock!" He cried, tears falling. Spock held out his left arm for a hug, and carefully Jim laid his head on Spock's healthy shoulder, nuzzling into his chest.

"So doctor, what's the damage?" Spock said, holding Kirk with one arm.

"Well Spock, you're going to be here for a while, but you're going to heal. Once we finally gt these casts off, somme physical therapy is all it will take to get you running and healthy. It's a shame you're not going to be able to dance with your mum on her birthday, though." He shook his head, continuing with his physical exam.

But Spock completely tuned out after that, his heart beating like with cold thuds.

He was completely immobile.

He wasn't going to be able to move during pon farr.

**Thanks for reviewing if you love me and this story! 3**

2795


	5. Chapter 5

"Spock, Spock!" Jim cried. He was sprawled on a comfortable chair by Spock's bedside.

He had been dreaming, and woke up yelling Spock's name, tears streaming down his face.

Spock's eyes fluttered open.

"Jim?" He called, turning his head to look down at the boy. He wiped away the tears, sniffing.

"I'm okay." He said quietly. Spock sat there for a moment, staring at the boy. He patted for Jim to come sit next to him.

Jim complied, but his brain was still thinking of the dream.

It wasn't a dream, they were always memories from his past. From his past overseers. Some of the dreams were about the immense physical abuse and burdens he has had, but mostly he dreamt about the sexual abuse.

He started crying again at the thought. He remembered being a young boy sold into slavery. By the time he was fourteen, he was a fiery individual with grown out bangs and long hair. If fully clothed some might have thought he was a rebel, but his new overseer saw to it that he would lose the attitude and learn to be a "good boy."

Nearing his fifteenth birthday, his overseer had come home severely drunk. Usually when he hit Jim, it hurt or burned for a while. But drunken, his power and force seemed thousands of times worse, and he came at the youth to no avail.

"You worthless piece of—!" came the man's gruff voice as he pounded Kirk into the wall. The boy slumped down onto the floor, his face bleeding. All the man did was laugh. It was dark in the cellar, with only the moonlight streaming through a small window. Suddenly the man was on the ground, ungracefully shoving Jim's shirt off of his shoulder. He kissed him harshly all over, never ceasing to remove his clothes. The boy was completely naked when he started hitting him again. The boy was weeping, but not because of the pain.

Later the boy writhed on the floor, naked and unclean. He didn't understand how that felt so good from someone he hated so much. He was hurt everywhere and the cold air from the open cellar door cut through his body.

But that wasn't the end. The man decided that he liked the young boy's body, and continued after that to take advantage of him. Each time left a hole in Jim's heart, and an unclean feeling inside of him. He learned after that to close his eyes and keep his mouth shut when he felt pain, for the older man liked to hear his screams too much. He NEVER wanted to please him.

Kirk's sat crying and shuddering in his spot next to Spock, and eventually Spock pulled the story out of him.

It felt like hours that Spock sat there, holding Kirk in his good arm, letting him sob into his chest.

"Jim, I can't promise you that one day all of this pain will go away, nor that everything in your life will be happy. But I do know this." Spock said seriously, tilting Jim's head up so their eyes would meet.

"It will NOT happen, ever again. If ANYONE tries to lay a hand on you, I will not hesitate to take their life. I can promise you that my love for you knows no boundaries, and I will do everything in my power to patch up the whole in your heart." He kissed the boy—no, the man's forehead gently.

"You are so brave." Spock told him, his lips still pressed to his forehead. Jim shut his eyes, his tears coming to an end.

Jim held onto those lovely few moments, as they were precious and meant so much to him.

"Morning, Spock." Said Leonard early the next morning. He was writing on his clipboard when he heard Spock's shout.

"Get out of here! If I wanted to see you, I would have called for you!" He writhed in his bed.

Leonard didn't know what to say, Spock had never acted in such a manner.

"You shut yer Vulcan trap! I'm trying to do my job!" It seemed Spock saw his mistake, because he calmed down slightly and stared viciously at the ceiling.

"Now, Spock, I have to test your blood pressure and—"

"Don't touch me! I need to get up, oh goodness! My legs are broken, I can't move and it's—"

"Shut up, you little prick! What is up with you today?" Leonard said, trying without luck to grab the Vulcan's arm.

"It's none of your business!" Jim walked in on this scene, an angry Vulcan evading Leonard by moving his arm as much as possible, and an upset Bones moving around like a madman.

"What's going on?" Kirk demanded.

"This Vulcan is—acting like an idiot! He wont let me take his blood pressure!" Momentarily the angry doctor gave up, walking away from Spock.

"Spock? This isn't like you, what's going on?" Kirk asked cautiously, walking closer to the bed.

"I can't explain it, it's too personal. I need to move, Jim, what am I going to do?" Jim tried to calm him down, but to no avail.

"Spock, tell me what's wrong and I can help you!" But Spock shook him off maddeningly.

Later, the doctor honestly couldn't take it anymore. Spock wasn't eating, and he had had endless bowls of plomeek soup thrown at him. One hit him right in the eye, the purple liquid splaying across his body, the ceramic bowl hitting the gentle bone under his eye. He had a damned black eye because of one bratty prince.

"If you aint gonna tell nobody what's going on, I'll find out myself!" He stormed out of the room and into the library.

"Mr. McCoy? Are you alright?" The concerned queen asked. McCoy had gone storming past her in his anger.

"Oh, yer highness! Go check on that son of yours, please. He is acting strangely." He bowed the smallest bow the queen had ever seen, then ran off towards the library.

"Spock?" His mother cracked the door open slightly, peeking in. Her son was sleeping peacefully. She turned to Jim, who was sitting in a chair opposite the prince.

"James, do you know what's been going on?" He jumped up from his chair and shut the book he'd been holding. He'd been too busy staring at Spock to actually read.

"Oh, Spock is just really anxious to get up and start walking again! There's nothing to be worried about, Spock and Bones just get really annoyed with each other." She glanced down at her son, then nodded.

"Yes, I suppose I would be anxious to move again also. James, I am not likely to be around for Spock much anymore. Planning this ball is going to be extremely time consuming, along with my other duties. Will you relay to Spock that he won't see me very often, but after the ball I will come see him first thing?"

James nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course, your highness. I'll keep him company, so don't worry!" He grinned at her. Again, she wondered how someone so adorable could be sold into slavery. She left after he gave his word, preparing to meet with her husband.

"Vulcan food…. Traditions… habits… logic… logic? Moronic!" Leonard searched through the enormous library for books about Vulcan behavior, but he couldn't find one. So instead he turned to habits and traditions. He sat on the carpeted floor, alone with thousands upon thousands of books.

He flipped through the pages, skimming through the words. Perhaps an hour later, he quirked his eyebrow upwards.

"Emotional days? This looks promising…" He continued reading this passage.

"Pon… farr?"

The next few days for James were restless, as the doctor continued his studies and he took care of Spock on his own.

He couldn't understand the torrent of emotions Spock felt now, how he felt so completely trapped in this bed.

It was late, the night before Amanda Grayson's birthday. Jim was settling into his chair after his shower, getting prepared for sleep. Spock was already asleep, tossing and turning in his dreams.

"Jim!" Bones yelled, suddenly entering the small medical room. He was holding a stack of papers with ripped edges.

Spock had protested to telling them what was going on to many times for Jim to ask any more, but suddenly Bones thought he knew the truth.

"What? Tell me!" Jim shouted, forgetting his tiredness.

"He's going to die tomorrow, Jim, if you can't help him!" Bones yelled, scrambling words down onto a clipboard.

"What? Why?" Jim shouted, following the makeshift doctor.

"Vulcans try and stay emotionless all the time, right? Well, every few years or so—I don't remember how many—they have one day called pon… pon farr, and that's the day they let out all of their emotions! Now, if they don't do anything about it, they die. Jim, you, you are gonna have to… help him."

Jim nodded.

"Of course! What are our options?" Bones swallowed down saliva.

"Well, Vulcans can either fight and beat the crap out of someone…" Bones said slowly. Kirk shook his head.

"Does it look like Spock can do that?" He half yelled.

"Well, this is a time for Vulcan's to… mate… so Jim, you would have to… I mean, you're only other option is to… uhh, DO… Spock. He can't very well do you, so…" It was silent in the room for a moment.

"That's… the only other option?" Jim said dryly. Bones nodded slightly.

"You're the only one he'd trust to do it, so…" Jim nodded, feeling sick and excited at the same time.

"Tomorrow night, during his mother's ball?" Bones nodded.

"Jim, if you really don't want to, I'm sure there's something else we can do…" James nearly laughed. Did he want to? Of course! He was a normal teenage boy. But he felt scared and small again, like he had when he was fourteen. Would Spock want him?

"You act as though I DON'T want it with Spock, Bones." He tried to raise his eyebrow as his friends always did, but most likely it didn't look as cool. Bones shook his head.

"Ugh, that's disgusting. Really." Bones spat. Jim laughed at his friend.

"You're the one who suggested it!" Bones smiled.

"Yeah, so you'll do it?" Jim swallowed. If Spock said no, he wouldn't force himself on him. He knew how awful that felt.

"Yeah, but could you do me a favor?" He said slowly, looking up at Bones. The older man nodded.

"Could you attach a bed next to that one, on the side of his good arm? I'm going to need some room." He folded his hands behind his head, laughing as he walked out of the room.

Bones shook his head, dragging the other medical bed to Spock's side.

"Sickos…" he mumbled.

"AAAAHH!" Spock screamed, his emotions tormenting him inside. He was going to die, and he wouldn't even be able to tell his mother, his father, Bones, or… Jim… goodbye. He made himself sick.

But he couldn't control it! And he was too far lost in his emotions to tell anyone what was happening. He wouldn't even if he could. Pon farr was far too personal to any Vulcan to share about.

"Spock?" His mother walked into the room. She looked dazzling in her beautiful gown. Her birthday was going perfect, and the guests for her ball would be arriving soon. Her son looked desperately over to her. He had to swallow many times before he could get out her name.

"Mother," he panted.

"Spock dear, I couldn't bear to be given a new age and not even see you once!" She said sweetly, walking towards her son. He cringed, trying to control the anger he felt towards her.

"I know things are difficult Spock, but I love you, and I wish I could save my last dance for my beautiful boy." She didn't touch her son, although she wanted to. She could see that he was sick and tired, and most likely angry at her for keeping him here. She didn't understand the full extent of his anger and emotions.

Spock was fighting with himself, a full on battle to revoke her and hit her with his good arm, or tell her happy birthday and hope she'd get out of this room.

"Spock?" she said quietly. And suddenly his emotions flopped, and he was feeling quite sad. No longer angry, but sad.

"Happy birthday, Mother. I wish you the best." She kissed his forehead, and he felt himself sinking into depression.

"Goodnight, Spock." She left the room with a blown kiss, and left Spock in his misery.

It must have been a full half hour before anything happened.

**ATTENTION: THE NEXT PART IS FULL ON K/S SEXY TIMES. DON'T READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. JUST KNOW THAT THEY BOND PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY.**

"Okay, Jim, get going now!" Bones ordered. Kirk nodded and stood up from his bed, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. The hallways were wastelands, with everyone required to work for the party. Not a single soul lingered around the medical wing.

Jim ran down the hall to Spock's temporary room. He took in a deep breath and flung the door open.

"Spock?" He asked. He saw the boy writhing on the bed.

"Jim!" Spock screamed. His emotions started turning again, and at the sight of this glorious boy…

Jim started walking towards Spock, preparing a sling for his other leg.

"Spock, I know about pon farr. I'm not going to let you die, so I'm asking for your permission to take you." He put Spock's other casted leg in a sling, identical to the other leg, so they were both in the air. He stopped working to look at the sweating and panting prince.

"Spock, can I take you?" He asked seriously, his brown eyes flashing. Spock's left hand slowly wiped the sweat off of his own forehead.

"Oh, god… ye-es." He said slowly. Jim smiled and nodded. He got onto the bed Bones had connected to Spock's, giving himself room to undress. He leaned over Spock's face, pressing his warm lips to Spock's. Spock whimpered, opening his mouth to let Jim's tongue in. He complied, swirling his tongue inside Spock's mouth, tasting his insides. When he pulled away, Spock panted into the air.

"Jim, Jim."

He slowly took off his pants and his shirt, but left his underpants on. He wondered if he had time to take it slow, but figured the odds weren't in that favor. Spock ran his hand down Kirk's muscular chest, pleased to see only a faint tracing of the scars.

Jim ripped off Spock's medical dress, leaving him almost naked. He straddled Spock, grinding down on his slightly hard member. The friction made the taller boy moan, and he pushed his hips forward as much as he could against Jim's grinding.

Jim leaned down, kissing Spock's lips. He quickly stuck his tongue in his mouth, but then pulled it out. He dragged his lips across Spock's jaw, reaching that erotic ear. Spock shivered as Jim's lips brushed past his ear, so the devious teen got a better idea.

He stuck out his tongue, tracing the insides of Spock's ear. Spock shuddered slightly at this. Surrounding the pointed tip of Spock's ear with his mouth, he started sucking. Spock started shivering violently, and Jim stopped, moving down to his neck.

"J-iiimm…" Spock whispered. Jim started licking the hollow of Spock's neck, then bit down.

"Mphh!" Spock bit his lip, trying to quiet himself from crying out at this mix of pain and pleasure. Jim surveyed the man, satisfied that he was green all over and panting. Moving down to his nipples, he swirled his tongue around them, coating them with saliva. He used his hand to knead one, and sucked on the other. This skin tasted sweet, but he knew where it would taste better.

He got off of Spock, working his way carefully around Spock's broken legs. He ripped of the this underwear viciously, surprising Spock, who felt sensually exposed.

Jim moved his lips down to Spock's inner thigh, sucking on the flesh there, earning pants above from Spock.

He looked up at Spock from his thigh.

"Spock, do you want me to suck this?" He said, moving his tongue quickly across his member onto the other thigh, resting his face on the soft flesh there.

"Y-yes!" Spock cried. Jim shook his head evilly, smiling.

"You have to beg me, prince. Beg your servant." Spock's good arm didn't seem to know where to go, and he flailed it around uselessly.

"Jim, please do it…" he whispered.

"Be specific, Spock. Do what? This?" Teasingly, he swirled his tongue around Spock's head, making the boy cry out. Quickly he retracted his tongue.

"Jim, Jim! Do it, blow me, suck me, take me! I want you!" He cried. Jim shivered at his words, his hard member leaking.

Swiftly, he engulfed Spock's length, biting and sucking the sweet skin. Above, Spock was writhing and moaning. He arched his back and shoved his hips forward, wanting more of Jim.

"A-aah! More, Jim, moreee!" He cried, tears forming in his eyes. He was about to fully release himself in Jim's mouth when Jim completely stopped and removed himself from Spock.

Spock whimpered, still panting. "Jim, don't, don't stop!"

Jim completely got off of the bed, going into the medical cabinets, and giving Spock the time to calm down. He looked through the contents, and then decided on baby oil. He grabbed the bottle and returned to his lover. He layed the bottle next to him on the bed, then climbed next to Spock.

"Jim, let me touch you…" Spock pleaded. Removing his undergarments seductively, Jim sat on his knees, leaning back onto his legs. He was very close to Spock.

"Be my guest." He invited, spreading his legs wider.

"Lean forward!"' Spock commanded. Kirk leaned across Spock's body, his length laying tantalizingly above Spock's mouth. Leaning slightly up, Spock used his tongue and dragged his saliva slowly up Jim's length. The tan teenager shivered above Spock. Teasing him, Spock ran his tongue in circles all around his member, then removed his mouth completely, taking it into his hand. He started pumping slowly, but gradually went at a pace that made Jim harder than he had ever felt, and Jim started heaving forward and backward in time with Spock's pumping motions.

"Oh my god!" Jim screamed. But Spock stopped before Jim found his happy release, leaning up to his ear.

"I can't take it anymore, Jim, take me." He growled into Jim's ear. Jim shivered and nodded, grabbing the baby oil. He carefully went around Spock's legs again, parting the slings farther. He lathered his fingers in baby oil, then proceeded to enter Spock with his fingers. Spock whimpered in pain.

"Hold on…" Jim whispered, sticking in a third finger in, stretching Spock. Once Spock was prepared, Jim spread the baby oil across his member, then slowly started to push himself inside Spock.

"Mmph! Jim, get it out!" Spock cried in pain. It hurt to be stretched so far, and tears were pooling in his closed eyes.

"Spock, baby, give it a minute." He waited for a good amount of time, then slowly pulled himself out, and then pushed himself in again. Spock cried out in happiness and pleasure.

"Jim, do that again!" He cried. Jim complied, picking up speed and thrusting into Spock. With his legs propped up, every thrust rammed into a sweet spot Spock didn't even know existed. Happiness hit him with every thrust.

"Jim! Oh god, oh god, mmph!" Spock cried. He was practically screaming. Jim picked up the speed, thrusting his hips forward. Even in control, Jim couldn't help but let out cries of happiness.

Spock began seeing stars when finally his release came, and Jim came following. Spock screamed into the waves and rolls of happiness, riding the waves. Jim was shivering, emptying his seed into Spock. Spock's release was white with green tints. Jim curiously leaned down and licked it off of Spock's member, causing the last load from Spock to explode in his mouth. Vulcan semen tasted odd, but it was delicious and warm. Jim removed himself from Spock, and surveyed his stomach. It was covered with Spock's release, and he looked down at the embarrassed boy.

"I'm sorry, Jim…" he said, blushing green. He laughed and wiped himself off with tissue. Laying down next to Spock, he wrapped an arm around the Vulcan.

"Jim, now that we're bonded, I'd like to try mind melding." The now cool, calm Spock suggested. Interested, Jim propped his head up onto his arm.

"Do it." Jim nodded. But Spock shook his head.

"Jim, if we mind meld, we will constantly share each other's thoughts, we will have access to each other's deepest emotions. Are you willing to let someone else know your every thought?" Spock asked fearfully. He wanted him to say yes, but wouldn't evade his privacy. Jim sat for a moment in thought.

"Only if it's you, Spock." Jim whispered, chastely kissing his cheek. Spock nodded, pressing his hand to Jim's face in the necessary places. It was hard for Spock to let down his mental barriers, one's he had spent his entire life making. But gradually, their minds slipped together as one.

They learned each other's deepest thoughts and emotions, their fears and their desires. Jim was shocked at the emotion for him that Spock felt, and everything came tumbling at him at once. He was drowning peacefully in warmth and emotion, and then suddenly was pulled out of the warmth and was choking in cold anguish and hate. It was a rollercoaster, and he found things about Spock that he never would have imagined.

Spock was flooded with painful memories and hate. Building up from his childhood, there wasn't a fleck of happiness. He felt sad and hateful and spiteful. The pain zipped through his body, and then—calm. Happy. Love. He was overjoyed at the massive amounts of happiness and love Jim held for him. He didn't understand how someone could love so much, so endlessly. Both of their hopeless passions and emotions combined left them both panting on the bed, laying next to each other in endless awe and wonder.

"_I love you." _Jim suddenly heard. But Spock hadn't said anything, and Jim realized that they could speak to each other through their minds. It was beautiful and so trusting, it made tears spill from his eyes.

"_I love you, so much." _The tears over flowed freely, and he wrapped his arms around Spock, where he fell asleep.

They both fell asleep, peacefully warm in each other's arms.

**Woo! Well that's a wrap. I know they are going to do… it… again, but im debating where. Next time I know Spock's going to be in control because he'll be all healed, (Vulcans can do that you know,) but this time im letting you pick where. So your choices are, a. in the shower in Spock's room. Mmm, steamy! Or b. after dinner, in the pool. Alone(; or if you have a better idea, let me know? REVIEWS WOULD BE LOVELY, LOVELIES. See you next chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Guys, the only way to explain that anger kiss scene is like brokeback mountain. LOL.**

Being bonded didn't bring the boys closer.

In fact, it made them seem more distant. At least, that's how it looked through the eyes of Leonard McCoy. Jim still was there, every day, to see Spock, and help whenever it was needed. But over the next few months, his Vulcan physique healed quickly. With summer almost over, his body had almost completely healed except for his arm. He had been undergoing therapy for a while, and the professional doctors agreed that Spock should be able to move. So Jim hung around less and less.

But Leonard didn't know that Jim absolutely loved being mind melded. It was so trusting. Every day he preferred testing the bond, sending Spock thoughts to make him happy. But he always came to see him, of course.

Summer was over, and Spock was freely moving around. In two months, he would be eighteen.

T'Pring was returning to wreak hell over Jim's heart. He waited in the shadows of the hallway in front of the throne room, breathing shallowly. Spock was dressed handsomely, the cast for his arm slung across his chest, the velvet cape fluttering behind him. Jim was trying hard to be thoughtless, trying to keep his presence unknown. And if he did start thinking, he had a backup plan. He would start repeatedly going through the Barney Theme Song if necessary. How he knew that; don't ask.

The clock chimed eleven tolls, and they arrived. Her large body guards dressed in armor walked first, followed by the petite woman in gentle robes of silk. Spock held his hand up in the Vulcan ta'al. His father and mother saluted her as well.

_She is beautiful._ Kirk thought. Spock paid no attention to the thought's that invaded him.

She truly was, her tanned skin and high cheekbones set off her eyes and lovely Vulcan eyebrows. Her clothing only made her more beautiful, and it was like a stab in Jim's heart.

The throne room doors were wide open, and Kirk could see their every move. When Spock leaned down to kiss her hand, he felt utterly hopeless and hurt, but kept those thoughts from his head, leaving them to wallow in his heart.

"Greetings to you, T'Pring." Amanda called regally. T'Pring nodded emotionlessly.

"Queen Amanda, a gift for you in pardon for missing your birthday event as I always do. Once again I apologize, and offer this gift." T'Pring handed her a small box colored with striped paper and a shimmering bow.

"Thank you, T'Pring." She said with a smile. Sarek cleared his throat.

"Within the next two months is my son, Spock's, birthday. He will then be the same age as you, and that is when, as we have discussed for the last four years, you will marry." Sarek called with authority.

"I trust you are still in agreement with this, T'Pring?"

Amanda looked over at Spock, then looked to the floor. She was still smiling, but it seemed plastered on. There was an unspoken sadness in her eyes.

T'Pring nodded.

"I am still in agreement, King Sarek." She nodded her head, then looking at Spock.

"And Spock, you are still in agreement?" The King turned to his son.

Please. He had heard the same questions every year, each time they always had the same answer. The repeating of this damned day.

"Yes, father. I am still in agreement to marry." It was a pain to choke out those words.

_This isn't fair, she doesn't even have to try, and she gets Spock! _Kirk screamed inwardly. Spock's head snapped up, looking for Jim in the shadows. Jim took in a breath, quickly going through Barney's theme song.

_Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination_, Jim started quickly, squeezing his eyes shut.

_Jim! _Spock shouted.

_And when he's tall, he's what we call a dinosaur sensation._

Jim continued the song, driving Spock insane. He was afraid of thinking and telling Spock how he really felt.

"Spock, are you alright?" His mother saw his attention was diverted, and the way he rolled his eyes. Sarek and T'Pring had been engaged in a conversation, but both turned to Spock and awaited his answer.

"I... am fine, I need to… use the restroom!" he said quickly. Sarek nodded.

"Then leave boy, but go quickly!" He nodded, gingerly walking out of the throne room as quickly as he dared. He rounded the corner to see Jim, leaning against the wall.

_Barney comes to play with us whenever we may need him. Barney can be your friend too, If you just make-believe him!_

"Jim!" He whispered harshly, his hands clasping onto his upper arm. James opened his eyes quickly, and Spock saw the tears gathered in his eyes, and the water streaming down his face. Seizing his jacket, he pressed his mouth harshly to Jim's. Jim reacted instantly, his tears still steadily streaming. He let his anger go and seized Spock's face in a battle for domination. Spock won, pressing Jim against the wall harshly, their tongues exploring each other viciously. Jim pressed his body against Spock's, then used his arms to push Spock away. Both took deep breaths, steadying themselves. As soon as his breathing was back to normal, Jim kicked Spock in the stomach forcefully, making him back up into the other wall. Their lips connected again, Jim having control.

When they parted Jim was shaking.

"Jim, I love you, and you don't need to worry about T'Pring. She isn't beautiful, you are. You are perfection." Jim nodded, jogging away quickly.

Finally, Spock's hand was fully healed, and he was able to carry on throughout the hot August normally.

Later on the next week, Spock slipped underneath the covers. He sat there, wide awake. It was an odd feeling, Kirk's consciousness slipping away. He could feel the start of his dreams, and unlike usual, he didn't dream about memories. He was having a fantasy, about Spock.

He was completely green, peering into Jim's fantasies. They were under water, but breathing still somehow. Silly Jim…

He couldn't take it anymore. He slipped out of his covers, and padded across the cold floor into Jim's room. Pulling off his covers, he picked him up as though he were a bride, and carried him into his room. More specifically, his bathroom.

"Spock?" Jim asked groggily. He was pink from blushing, and had a raging hard-on.

He set Jim on the floor, peeling his clothes off.

"Spock? What are you—"

"Jim, I want you. This time, I'm in full control." He growled, making Jim shiver.

**NEXT UP, K/S SEXY TIMES! DON'T READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. Enhance the experience by listening to vessel by nine inch nails?**

Spock proceeded to take off his clothes.

"Spock? Your bed is out there, you want to do this on the floor?" Jim said, feeling strangely afraid.

Spock shook his head, picking up the naked boy. Stepping into the shower, he turned on the water. It was impeccably hot, streaming onto the pink boy. He was sitting on the shower seat, leaning back onto the cold shower wall. Spock straddled him, pressing his mouth to Jim's lips. That didn't last long, as he moved down to his neck. Jim arched his back, whimpering as Spock sucked on him.

He trailed down to his pink nipples, sucking hard on them. He got off of Jim, and sat on his knees on the floor, the water trailing over him. Lightly, he traced his fingers down Jim's stomach, causing Jim to laugh lightly. It was pleasant, so Spock began tickling him.

"Ahahahahah! Spock!" He yelled. As he had so many days before, Spock pressed his lips to the tan boy's stomach. The scared feeling left Jim, and it was replaced by a want for Spock.

"Spread your legs." Spock whispered. Jim obeyed, opening his legs. Spock trailed his fingers up and down the boy's thighs in a butterfly touch. He used his tongue to do the same thing, then settled on sucking his inner thigh.

"Mmmm…" Jim moaned. Spock trailed a finger lightly down Jim's hardened length and blew air from his mouth, and he shuddered.

He forced Jim to stand up, and walked across the shower to grab a bar of soap. It smelled pleasantly like lilacs.

Wetting the bar of soap, he crossed back over to Jim.

"Wh-what are you doing, Sp-?"Jim said his eyes half lidded.

Spock took the bar of soap, and started rubbing it against Kirk. He was pressed to the wall, and Spock rubbed against his hard on.

Jim moaned when he started rubbing his balls, tossing his head backwards. The slow, circular motions of the soap made him dizzy, and left him wanting more. He pushed his hips forward, the friction making him heat up.

Spock threw the bar of soap onto the floor, wrapping his hand around Jim's hardened length. He pulled forward and backward, causing Jim to smile in pleasure and moan, spreading his legs. But Spock was going painfully slow, and Kirk slowly lowered them both onto the bottom of the tub. Spock leaned his head down to meet Kirk's happy friend, very lightly dragging his tongue up and down Jim.

Kirk was sick of being teased, and shouted, "Morreee!" Spock looked up into his partner's eyes, the desperation in them.

Teasingly he licked the head of Jim's penis, then deep throated him, engulfing it completely.

Jim gasped, throwing his head back. His hands flew to Spock's head, keeping them in that position. His back was beautifully arched, his hips bucking forward.

"Spock… I'm gonna…" Spock bobbed up and down, awaiting his release. Viciously he swirled his tongue around, and Jim came, yelling. Spock swallowed all of the release, making Jim smile. He was glad he hadn't spit it out, he felt more accepted this way.

Spock sat up and licked his lips, looking utterly seductive. His brown eyes were staring intently at Jim, the heat of the shower making them both light headed. He filled the bathtub with water, arousing Jim fully as he wondered and imagined.

"Stand up." Spock said. Jim complied, and Spock bent Jim's body forward. Spock leaned forward and began rimming him, causing the most arousing moans from deep in Jim's chest to come out.

"Oh, god… mmmm… aah…Spock…"

He stopped before Jim could release again, lowering both of their bodies into the water. He couldn't wait any longer, the pulsing of his own hard member becoming painful.

Their lower halves submerged in water, Spock took the slippery soap and spread it across his fingers, penetrating Jim.

"Sp-ock…" Jim whimpered. He decided he couldn't wait much longer, and after he added another finger, quickly pulled out and prepared himself, aligning his body with Jim's.

Jim was still sitting up on his knees, holding onto the shower seat and bracing himself to be entered. Spock slowly pushed himself inside Jim.

Tears were pooling in Jim's eyes.

"oww, Spock!" He cried. It was so painful, and Spock could feel the pain through the bond. But he waited, caressing up and down Jim's chest and stomach. It took few minutes for Jim to become adjusted, and suddenly felt immense pleasure instead of pain.

"Spock, I need, more…!" He cried out, yelling. Spock complied, starting slow thrusting motions. Jim couldn't hold back his noises, and Spock didn't try to stop him, knowing that Spock's was the only occupied room in this wing.

"Ahhh! Spock! Oh my god!" Every thrust was good, but when Jim slightly pushed himself downwards, every thrust hit that special spot.

His chin was touching the water, and he was seeing stars. He kept screaming, he couldn't hold back.

T'Pring was walking to her room, much later than anyone should know about. She went to her usual room, the one in Spock's hallway. She heard screaming from his room, and instantly her protective Vulcan instincts shot up. She burst into his room.

"Spock?" But the scream came from the bathroom. She opened the door violently.

"Oh, god, SPOCK!" Jim shouted, moaning as he hit his final release. He was shuddering in pleasure, writhing underneath Spock. He hit his climax, releasing into Jim.

T'Pring didn't have to pull the shower curtain apart to know what was happening. She stood in shocked silence, unable to move. They hadn't seen her, thankfully, because of the shower curtain. They were completely oblivious to her presence.

Jim and Spock were completely warmed by the bath water, and their connected minds provided a pleasure unlike any other. They sat warmly in each other's arms, oblivious to anyone in the world but themselves.

"Oh, Spock. I love you." Jim giggled.

T'Pring felt a wave of nausea come over her, and she quietly left the room while Spock replied.

If they thought that was okay, they had another thing coming. How could they?

Well, it didn't matter. Soon Spock would be completely hers, whether she wanted him or not.

"Spock, promise me something." Jim said, wrapped in Spock's arms.

"Anything." Spock replied,

"You won't ever touch anyone but me." Jim said, blushing furiously. He turned around, straddling Spock, and looked into his eyes.

"I promise." He said, kissing his cheek. And he meant it—he would never touch anyone but James Kirk.

The next morning, on his way to breakfast, Spock was stopped by T'Pring.

"Spock, I've decided to cut all ties with Stonn, so we can be together." She placed a hand on his arm and smiled charmingly.

Spock felt sick, he wanted to shove her away.

"That is… great, T'Pring." He said, slowly backing away. She raised her slanted eyebrow.

"How very human of you, Spock." He frowned and quickly jogged away.

"James, I have an err-aand!" Amanda called cheerily. Spock looked up from his text book, interested. Jim nodded, his golden head coming into view. It had been almost an hour since he had seen T'Pring, and Spock was relaxed.

"I need you to ride into town, and buy five pounds of fat. We're hosting dinner tonight for the ambassador of another planet, and it's a very important ingredient."

_Rather disgusting, actually. _Jim heard Spock's thoughts and suppressed a smile.

"Can you be back at three? It's very important to get started as soon as possible!" Jim agreed, smiling.

Amanda started to walk away when Spock shut his book and stood.

"Mother, for the safety of Jim, may I accompany him to the town?"

She looked doubtful.

"Oh, but Spock, I wouldn't want you to get hurt, and the townsfolk won't treat you as they should if they cannot recognize you, and there is so much to do here… and a prince should not leave the castle grounds!" She frowned, worrying and fretting over her son.

He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

"Mother, I assure you that we will be perfectly fine. Also, Jim is not yet a skilled rider. Should he have any trouble, I would like to be there to help."

Her resolve was wavering.

"Alright, alright, fine." She waved her hand, sighing.

"You two certainly worry about each other, very much." Jim was on the verge of blushing when Spock quickly turned him around.

"Yes, we'll be going now, mother." They walked away, leaving Amanda to her duties.

…

"The town is so lively." Spock said, eyeing the town. The hooves of his horse traipsed along the stone street, making their way through the crowd.

"Yeah!" Jim said enthusiastically. "Alright, the store is called 'The Enterprise.' Curious name…"

"Oh hey," Jim said, stopping his horse. "If we cut through this alleyway, it will be quicker." Spock didn't want for the horses hooves to be scratched or cut unnecessarily, so after renting two spaces for the horses, the two went through the alleyway on foot.

"It's really dirty in here…" Jim mused. Spock was leading the way, Jim holding onto his arm.

"So I said, shut the hell up!" Up ahead, a small gathering of boys burst into obnoxious laughter. They were dirty, poor, and muscular. One was holding a lit cigarette, one who was barely seventeen at the most. The holes in their clothes, the patches and the dirt, made them seem to be a street gang. A large Vulcan boy seemed to be a lackey, leaning into the corner.

"Maybe we should take the long way…" Jim whispered. But it was too late; the leader of the gang noticed the well-dressed prince.

"Well, hello." He called to Spock. He shoved his hat to the side of his head, his brown bangs falling into his face. With arms across his chest, he took a step forward.

"What's your na—" But then he stopped, examining Spock's face. He suddenly burst into laughter, calling his Vulcan friend over.

"Tell me that is not the prince." The boy said, his finger pointed to Spock.

"That is not the prince." The Vulcan said, his eyes drooping.

"Naw, is he or not?" The Vulcan didn't have the answer, so he turned to Spock.

"You the prince, the one getting' married soon?" He called, a crooked smile coming across his face.

"I am the prince, Spock of Vulcan." Spock said.

"You, you're only half Vulcan, you bastard!" Jim was shocked to hear the Vulcan's voice shoot out at Spock.

"I will never consider you prince, or king. You are an experiment, and you shame every Vulcan." The spite and hate was apparent in the man's voice.

"Aye, he's right. You're nuthin' but a big waste." The boy's fist shot out to Spock's face, and Jim was surprised that Spock didn't even try to dodge. He let the boy strike his face. When the pain registered in Spock's mind, it registered in Jim's.

"Ow!" He cried quietly, grabbing his face. That was when the leader, and the gang, noticed Jim.

"Oh, who's this?" the leader asked, wiping his nose.

Jim said nothing, the fire burning in his eyes.

"You two are… bonded?" The Vulcan inquired.

"Ohmy god, this is too funny." The leader called. On that cue, the entire gang started laughing.

"You're the fake ass prince who's only half Vulcan, AND you're gay?" He was laughing hard enough to cry, but he didn't.

"You prick! I'll bet you two go up each other's ass every night. That's sick! 'Bet that bastard takes it every night, you freaks! I will beat the shit out of phonies like you!" But instead of hitting Spock, he aimed for Jim, his fist reaching out.

Spock grabbed it and twisted it around, anger wrapping through his voice.

"Do not touch him." He growled into the boy's ear.

"Alright, fine!" He motioned for the boys to join him. There were six, four humans and two Vulcans.

Six on two were not very good odds, even for two strong boys. Spock was mainly trying to protect Jim, and it caused him quite a bit of pain.

A little girl had run quite a bit ahead of her mother, but she knew mama would always be there, even if daddy wasn't. She stopped in front of the alleyway, her cerulean blue eyes widening. A fight was going on between the bad boys mama always said stay away from, and two people who looked nice. They were dressed real fancy, and the one had pointy ears. She gasped, when the nice man got punched in the stomach.

She ran ahead, spotting a police man outfit.

"Sir! Sir! There's a fight in the alleyway, sir! With a fancy man and the bad boys, sir!" She tugged on his pant leg, pointing to the alley.

The man looked up quickly at the alleyway, taking out his handcuffs and a phaser. Those had recently been acquired, and they were handy tools to stun with.

Running ahead, he entered the alleyway, shocked at the sight of the Prince!

"Everybody break it up!" He shouted, raising his phaser. The gang all appeared very scared, and they quickly dropped their subjects and ran away.

"Joanna!" The little girl's mother followed her into the alleyway, surprised at the sight of two bloody teenagers and a cop.

"What in the hell is going on?" She demanded, quickly grabbing her daughter's hand.

"That's what I'm wondering, Prince Spock." The police man called, offering his hand to Spock. He took it and stood up, then raised Jim to his feet. Jim was uninjured.

"Mama, I seen these two nice guys getting' beat up and I hurried to the policeman real quick!" Joanna called.

Jim looked at the girl, surveying her face.

She had short brown hair, touching her shoulders. Her eyes were large and pale blue. Her lips were bright pink and constantly pouting. She couldn't be older than five or six.

And she looked a whole lot like…

"Well, little lady, you very well could have just…"

"Saved their lives!" Her mom called proudly. Spock nodded calmly to the little girl.

"Thank you very much. We would be very obliged if you would join us for dinner at the palace, both of you." Jim used a handkerchief to wipe the blood from Spock's nose after Spock's statement.

Joanna started squealing.

"Oh, mama, can we? Mama, please? Mama, can we go to the palace?" It was annoying, but very cute.

"Well I don't see why we can't, I don't have money for nothing anyways." She agreed. Joanna happily jumped up and down.

Jim laughed.

"You're cute, what is your name?" Jim asked, leaning down.

"I'm Joanna McCoy and I'm five. This is my mama!" She smiled, grabbing Spock's velvet cape.

"Lorene." She greeted them, smiling apologetically.

"Joanna, get off of the prince!" She laughed, and Jim and the police officer did as well.

"Well if everything is alright here, I have to get back to the office to file the attack…"

"Would you oblige me by keeping this a secret from the public? Circumstances allowed me to leave the castle, but most usually I cannot." The police officer nodded, leaving the four.

After purchasing the fat, the four returned to the castle. Joanna insisted on riding with the prince on his horse, so Lorene rode with Jim. She had a nagging personality, but it was oddly refreshing and pleasant. She joked quite easily and brought a comfortable air around the new acquaintances.

"Oh good, Spock, you're finally back!" Amanda said, then noticing their new friends.

"Spock, who are these people? Oh my god, why are you hurt?" She cried, running over to Spock.

"We… got into a fight…and he was protecting me…" Jim admitted, keeping his eyes down.

"I am fine, fortunately. This young lady had the initiative to get a policeman, and saved me from a lot of pain." Lorene smiled proudly at her daughter.

"I am her mother, Lorene." The shook hands, Amanda's eyes flitting from face to face.

"I invited them to join us for dinner." Spock said, Joanna once again grabbing his cape.

"I'm Joanna!" She interjected. Amanda finally let out a nervous laugh.

"Oh my, thank you very much young one. Please enjoy dinner tonight. For now you may tour the palace at your leisure while I see to my son's needs."

Spock hadn't noticed until this moment how absolutely lavish the palace looked. It was decorated beyond perfection, and he couldn't recall any important meetings or holidays. He honestly didn't even know the date.

"Oh Spock, we need to get you cleaned up!" She sighed.

"Mother, is something important going on tonite?" She seemed flustered by the question.

"What? No! Only dinner!" Spock raised an eyebrow.

"What is the date, mother?" She shook her head, guiding Spock into his room.

"The date? Odd, I can't recall it." He sighed. _I suppose I'll have to wait._

Dressed in his best clothes, Spock walked toward the winding staircase. It was the quickest way to the dining room. It was also very dark. Indeed, there was not a light in sight. He blindly stepped down the stairs, his hands on the railing. Suddenly every chandelier was lit, and the formal hall showed a large crowd of people.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The crowd screamed.

Oh.

Oh, no.

He was Vulcan! Oh, the illogic of surprise parties!

How completely human and illogical!

He was frozen on the steps, completely aware that his father would not come within a mile of such extreme illogic.

How humiliating! The extent of such illogic was stunning! He regained his composure, slowly shutting his widened eyes.

Oh, now it fit. His mother agreed for him to leave so he would be out of the house.

He slowly started walking down the stairs.

This damn uncomfortable outfit! Of course she'd pick this one. He laughed at himself for being so human.

"Thank you all, this is such a wonderful surprise." He called. The crowd started clapping, and he skipped through the pollution for Jim or his mother. Stepping off the staircase, he joined the obnoxious crowd in the bright lights.

"Mama! I feel like a princess!" Joanna giggled, twirling in the pink dress Amanda gave her. Lorene was dressed also, and she looked absolutely beautiful.

"Are you enjoying yourselves?" The beautiful queen asked, handing Lorene a glass of wine.

"Indeed, what a pleasant surprise!" Amanda laughed with the woman.

"Yes, lets just hope Spock doesn't find me, I'm certain he'll find this all illogical." She smiled.

"DADDY?" Joanna screamed through the noise. Lorene followed her gaze over to none other than Leonard McCoy.

"Lorene?" Bones called.

"J-Joanna?"

"DADDY!" She screamed, but her mother held her back.

"No, Joanna! Leonard, I need to speak to you. Alone. Joanna, you stay with..."

"I would happily watch your daughter, Lorene."

"Thank you very much, your highness." Lorene and her ex-husband hurried off onto a private balcony.

Joanna sat down, sticking her legs out in front of her.

"That's not fair, I haven't seen daddy in a long time!" Amanda wanted to sympathize, but she realized that a broken home could only be fixed by the parents.

"Cake, dear?" She asked, handing the child an iced piece of cake.

"Jim!" Spock called, finally finding him.

"Ahh, Spock…" Jim said wearily.

"Did you know about this?" He demanded, crossing his arms. The crowd was thick, but Joanna could plainly recognize the two boys.

"Y-Yes, but enjoy yourself, Spock!" Taking the icing from his cake, he dabbed it on Spock's nose. He turned extremely green and laughed, dabbing the icing across Jim's lips.

"You're gonna have to get that off." Jim said, narrowing his eyes. "With your tongue."

Spock again turned green.

"Shh. Another time, Jim." He said, using his thumb to brush off the icing.

Amanda tugged on the queen's dress.

"They're in love, aren't they?" Joanna giggled. Amanda followed the girls point to her son Spock, and Jim. Spock's thumb was brushing past Jim's lips, removing icing. He stuck it in his mouth, removing the icing from his finger. Jim turned pink, then leaned up to whisper in Spock's ear. Spock smiled, turning towards Jim. If Amanda didn't know any better, they looked as though they would kiss. But quickly they turned away from each other, embarrassed. Their fingers grazed each other.

"Yes," She said quietly, and in shock. "I… think they are."


End file.
